The One Where: I’m Going Out of Order

Greetings friend!

So I am “allegedly” supposed to review a movie tonight, bah! Like that’s happening today…

Anyhow, those Red Sox are killers. I know I know, its a long season. But every game matters.

I know that “we”– writers, I suppose I’ll include myself– change our minds on these average guys playing a game at least 3 times in a day.

We wake up pissed at last night’s loss and then we say, “another day, another game, they got this.” Then mid-day we say, they’re gonna blow it tonight. And then during the game, they flirt and tempt us and believe it or not, they don’t come through…

Tonight that was the case. I’m giving the Sox another week. If they can get Derek Lowe and Justin Masterson back here, thing’s will turn around.

Papi will find that smile hitting his face again when he catches up with ol’ Derek Lowe. And then the Beckett trio– Lester, Buchholz (…Lackey?)– will notice that things are changing around here. Derek Lowe — had a few drinking records, I believe– will show those guys that drinking and chick-fil-a is for after the games not in the clubhouse.

Add once, promising, and dominant against the Red Sox, Justin Masterson to the young starters, Buchholz, Dubrount, and Morales, and you’ll have some fire lit under Beckett and Lester’s asses.

They [the Red Sox] should go for one of them. And hell, maybe even Johnny Damon?

—-      —-     —-    —-

And then there’s the Manager…

People have as many opinions about Bobby Valentine, as there are incidents with him- A LOT.

I never wanted him here, and I think they were trying to get the players to unite against the manager, as seen in the 1980 Olympics– Kinda, I wouldn’t know, but the team formed a bond over disliking Herb’s philosophy– Valentine’s philosophy, however, seems similar to Heath Ledger’s Joker, he just wants to watch the (baseball) world burn.

Sure he’s not publicly saying such things, but come on, he could put forth a better effort in uniting the clubhouse.

—-    —-    —-    —-

It’s also time to move on. Papi, is gone after this season; and to who? The Yankees, obviously.

What did he say?

Yeah, he’s looking at his age, and that short right field porch and thinking 82 games there? Ok, that’s at least 82 homeruns.

If you look at how much he has a long fly ball to right each night, and look at where the house Jeter built has its fence, he’s got to break records there. Also look at Curtis Granderson, he had an MVP caliber year last year, and that’s mainly due to easy-out-but-home-runs-instead hits to right.

So: Papi is gone, and so is Beckett and Elsbury.

Yep. Serious.

The Red Sox should be trying to shop Elsbury, with his potential, and the slim chance of a resigning that isn’t the same as Crawford’s, the Red Sox need to get something for him, before he hurts himself again next year. They need to trade him in the off season, for prospects, and lots of them, around 6. Did I mention Josh Beckett yet? Just throw him in a deal and then You’ll get those 6.

And get rid of John Lackey, that fat lard is just taking up space and unless he is Schilling-esque next year, he’ll be a huge bust.


And FIRE that bum of a manager! Valentine didn’t pan out. Get someone who will be compatible with Pedroia, Buchholz, and others, not some egomaniac who’s hair is whiter than his smile. If you can get a guy who makes Pedroia happy, then you have a happy team, and–in my fantasy world where we have tens of prospects ready to come up– the young guys will follow Pedroia’s ethic and style.

Boom. Pedroia’s captian.

—-    —-    —-    —-

The thing is we can’t be a bunch of cowboy idiots anymore, and we tried the Japanese approach, and the Yankees approach, and aside form being idiots and a stellar October in ’07, we have to come up with our own style.

Hence; young prospects that can stay for a long time.

Are the Sox a small market team? Well, are they?

HA! Nope, what, we’re behind the Yankees because they are in the Nation’s biggest city?

What I’m getting at is; we won’t fail with our money, so why not raise some prospects, get them good, or great; and resign them?

It might work. Because the Sox are humongously profitable and we will be as long as Boston still breathes. And, only bring in big names if we need them, like, we NEEDED CJ Wilson. But thanks to fat-lard-Lackey we were hesitant to.

There need to be changes, and there are plenty I threw out there, and hopefully one will work.



Get Kelly Shoppach outta here! He’s a  bum!


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